Cora's Bad Days

I try to focus on the positive and with Cora’s progress, there is plenty to focus on. Today, however, has been one of those days when I wonder about Cora’s quality of life and whether I can do this. I hesitate to talk about times like this, but maybe that’s wrong. Most people do not celebrate when they see their dog wagging its tail or when their dog picks up a toy. What gives meaning to Cora’s accomplishments is who she is and the struggles she has.

A couple days ago Cora fell. This is not unusual. I think it will always be a part of her life. Being a tripawd is hard enough, but when you are also blind and have coordination problems, falling down is inevitable. Cora typically reacts by getting angry or by simply getting up and continuing on. When Cora fell a few days ago, I knew it was different. Even before she started screaming, I’d heard the sickening loud thunk. I was at Cora’s side almost immediately and she was crying, hunkered over and bleeding. She had landed hard on her stump and it was bloody and bruised. My tough, independent girl wanted me to hold and calm her.

She was unhappy the rest of the day and I mostly kept her sleeping.  Yesterday was better, except that she kept breaking the scab open. I thought today would be good for her. I’d be at work and she’d get to rest, in the kennel, and give her stump time to heal. I got home from work a bit late and she really needed out to potty. Typical dog stuff.

After that Cora became an angry, snapping, out of control dog. I’ve been bitten by Cora before. I’m working with the behaviorist and none of her bites have been serious, but obviously it’s not ok. I couldn’t calm her down. I couldn’t redirect her with treats. I was afraid for myself and overwhelmed by the barking and activity. I was worried and sad for Cora who seemed so unhappy. 

I sent Cora outside. She loves to be in the yard. Her barking quieted and she began to explore. I just brought her inside, an hour later; and she’s calm and manageable. There is no rulebook for this and the best I can do is not make any one moment, define who Cora is or how she will be.